Hosting a birthday party can be somewhat stressful. Here are some fundamental party planning dos and don’ts to make sure you don’t breach party etiquette. Plus, we’ve prepared a checklist of what to do when.

party planning 101

Invited guests

Unless you can invite the whole class, don’t place invites where they are easily visible or ask the teacher to hand them out. Those children who haven’t been included will spot a party invite a mile off. While an emailed invitation is probably not the most personal option, it will spare the feelings of those children who have not been invited.

Numbers game

Always RSVP to a party invite, especially if it involves a paid activity. These days, parties can cost as much as the down payment on a small speedboat, so be considerate and let the host know if you are coming. The host may also only be able to cater for a fixed number of guests, so ask before you rock up with your child and three siblings.

Younger children may still need you to be at the party, so refrain from dropping your child off quickly to get a few hours of alone time at the mall.

Give thanks

Teach your children to hand over gifts graciously when attending parties and to say thank you when receiving gifts. It’s also good form to send a written thank you afterwards.

Although, as most parents know, gifts tend to get opened in a frenzied scrum that would put the Springboks to shame. So, the chances of actually matching the cards to the toys are zero to none. If you can’t pair the gift with the guest, maybe just send out a general email with a few photographs from the party as a sign of appreciation.

Read our article on birthday party problem-solvers for more advice on planning.

party planning timeline and checklist

The month before

• Choose the venue. Home or away? Indoors or out? Public venue (such as your neighbourhood park) or hired venue? Book and pay any necessary deposit.
• Set the date and time. Consider the activities you hope to include and the time of day that will suit them best.
• Draw up the guest list. Some suggest inviting one guest for each year of your child’s age (one little friend to a first birthday, two to a second birthday party, and so on). It can be overwhelming, especially for younger children, to have a house full of people all showering them with attention and gifts!
• Decide on a theme. You don’t have to have one of these, but themes do narrow things down, which can be helpful if you’re doing everything yourself. Older children will have stronger ideas, so give them a few suggestions when asking for their ideas.
• Send out invitations. Remember to include a finish time and whether siblings and parents are also invited. Ask about any allergies or dietary restrictions. Include an RSVP date and anything the guests need to bring with them.
• Decide on the games or activities. Will you run these yourself or call in the professionals? Will you hire equipment or hire an entertainer? If you’re going it alone, you have a bit more time to gather ideas, ask friends what worked best for them and surf the web for ideas.

Find some party ideas here.

Two weeks before

• Order or plan the cake. The easiest DIY option for a summer birthday cake is to buy a couple of tubs of ice cream, like chocolate and vanilla. Let these melt a little, then add a few chocolate chips to one and some crushed meringue to the other. Layer the two in a spring-form cake tin or Pyrex dish, cover with clingfilm and freeze. (Tip: wrap a hot cloth around the dish to help loosen the cake.)
• Decide on decorations. If you want to splash out at the party shop, don’t rush into the store one hour before the party and then find there’s no stock to suit your theme.
• Plan the menu. Will your food match your theme? Will you make it yourself, buy pre-prepared food from the supermarket or deli, or enlist the services of a caterer?
• Plan party packs. Do you want to send the guests home with something? Will this be a craft item they make at the party or a little bag of edible goodies? Add the contents to your shopping list.

One week before

• Plan the games and activities. Make a list (and suggested running order) and allocate responsibilities. Add the prizes and any props needed to your shopping list.
• Do the shopping. Compile your list from the menu. Buy all the non-perishables now, so you have less to do later. Make sure you have drinks (tea, coffee, juice) and food for any parents who will be there. Don’t forget serviettes, candles, matches or a lighter.
• Check catering supplies. Have you got sufficient crockery, cutlery, tables and chairs? There’s still time to borrow what you need from friends.
• Follow up on missing RSVPs.
• Prepare any food that can be made in advance. Or confirm drop-off or pick-up times with your caterer.

The day before

• Get photo ready. Charge your camera; have a memory card in backup. Or, if you’re old-school, ensure you have enough film.
• Check your first aid kit. Better to be over- than under-prepared.
• Bake or collect the birthday cake.
• Purchase any last-minute perishables.
• Assemble the party packs. The birthday child might like to help with these.
• Get cooking. Sort out any last-minute food and beverages.

Party day

• Set up the party table, games and decorations. Older children can help by decorating the table or hanging decorations.
• Put up a welcome sign and an arrow pointing inwards on your outside gate to help direct guests to your home.
• Enjoy!

Keep these party planning dos and dont’s and tips in mind when planning your next party.