How can we integrate technology into parenting and model smart usage? The experts have some advice for parenting in a world of screens.
Children have to keep pace with technological advances, but need clear boundaries to keep them safe. Here are some tips on parenting in a world of screens:
it’s all about boundaries …
“We have arrived in the digital world without a map or compass. Without doubt, the digital world offers untold riches. A handheld device can become a portal into a world rich with discovery,” says family therapist and author Sarah Stiffelman.
However, she adds that parents need to be more informed about this digital landscape. Important, if we are to raise children who can develop a level of self-regulation and self-awareness that will allow them to “use technology without being consumed by it”.
Read our article on how to help your child navigate digital learning.
… and balance
It’s true that in our pixelated, powered-up world, mobile technology, social media and online communities are fundamental to the way we communicate, learn and develop. However, parents need to know what it means to be a good digital role model, says author Heather Cabot. “We have to get a handle on this because there’s no going back,” she says. “Our children will never know a time they couldn’t watch an erupting volcano on YouTube.”
Read our article on how parents can help by being social media-savvy
research tells us
A study by the Kaiser Family Foundation reported that with technology allowing virtually 24-hour media access as children and teens go about their daily business, the amount of time young people spend with entertainment media has risen dramatically. Today, 8–18 year olds devote an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes to using entertainment media during an average day. This equates to more than 53 hours a week. And, because they spend so much of that time using more than one medium at a time, they actually manage to cram a total of 10 hours and 45 minutes worth of media content into those seven hours.
While there is a growing concern about screen time and its connection to inactivity, not all screen time is detrimental. Many articles have blamed technology for obesity, insomnia, violence, aggression and language development issues. This suggests that removing technology would make children fitter, and mental health issues would diminish and occupational health challenges would simply vanish, which everyone knows is unlikely.
activity vs passivity
Dr Craig Blewett, developer of the Activated Classroom Teaching (ACT) model and founder of ACT Education, says he can see how parents could feel that children are simply wasting their time on electronic devices. This, however, that may not be the real issue. “Today’s devices are not like the single function radios and televisions children’s parents grew up with. In the past if a child was spending lots of time in front of the TV it was obvious they were doing only one thing – watching TV. Modern devices allow for a wide range of activities from consumption to conversation to creation. Even sitting in front of a TV, a child today could be doing anything from having a conversation, playing a game, watching a movie or creating a world in Minecraft.”
Dr Blewett believes the problem is when children aren’t doing any of these things during their seven-plus hours of entertainment media. Research shows that on average, children are spending about 40% of their time on “passive consumption” compared with just 3% on actual content creation. Perhaps, as Dr Blewett contends, it’s not technology that isn’t working, but how we’re using it that needs adjustment. Screen time for children must be based on activity not passivity.
Read our article on how to counterbalance screen time with physical activity.
how can we integrate technology into parenting and model smart usage?
Try ‘do as I do’ and not ‘because I said so’
It’s important to check your own engagement with screens and mobile devices and model good behaviour so that if you don’t want your child checking his or her phone at the dinner table, you shouldn’t be doing that either. Talk through every interaction so that your child knows the difference between using the device as a game versus a means of communication.
You are the superhero
Technology is your trusty sidekick. When Michael Jackson passed away, Heather Cabot’s children were intrigued by all the hype and quizzed her about who Michael Jackson was and what made him so great. She took out her iPad and showed them videos of the King of Pop performing live. Technology is at its best at those teachable moments.
Create a family tech zone
The family computer should be in a high-traffic area that can be easily supervised (not in a bedroom or hidden alcove). Cabot adds that downloadable filters and parental controls “are helpful, but you can’t rely on them”. You wouldn’t leave your child alone in a place that wasn’t childproofed, and the internet certainly doesn’t have covers on its power sockets. “Our morals should be the same in the digital world as they are in the real world,” she says.
Make eye contact, not iContact
While doing research for her book, Alone Together, Sherry Turkle chatted with children who complained about their parents being disconnected. “They talked about moms who bring their phones to bedtime, or when they approach the car after school and the parent makes a hand gesture instead of eye contact because they’re finishing an email.” The result? Children are modelling the same behaviour.
“I find that children are having trouble making eye contact. Social skills are vanishing,” notes Turkle. The answer: make and maintain a connection and resist the urge to take a tech interlude. Stay present in that moment. You can finish your mail or send the text when you have finished connecting with a real person in real time.
New tech, new methods
While the binge-watching trend may signal a worrying focus on consumption, research shows that active teaching and learning approaches are good for learners. The future of our classrooms relies on teachers harnessing this energy, combining it with the benefits of technology and then activating learning in the classroom.
By moving children from passive readers and listeners to active curators and creators, teachers and parents can significantly impact the learner’s enthusiasm in the classroom, how much they learn and make technological interactions positive and productive.
