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Teaching forgiveness to children helps nurture empathy, unity and understanding among young hearts.

“Forgiveness is an important value that helps our children grow into kind and understanding individuals. In South Africa, where we have a beautiful mix of cultures and traditions, teaching children to forgive from a young age can help create a community where everyone feels loved and accepted,” says Kelly Eyre, quality and pedagogy lead at Dibber International Preschools, a global leader in early childhood education, committed to providing high-quality preschool experiences that foster children’s holistic development.

Eyre provides the following guide to teach young children the art of forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?

Collins English dictionary defines it as the act of forgiving, the state of being forgiven, the willingness to forgive. The Oxford Dictionary’s definition is: the action of forgiving, pardon of a fault.

In simpler terms, forgiveness means letting go of hurt feelings when someone does or says something that makes us sad or upset. It’s like saying: “It’s okay, I won’t stay mad at you.” It doesn’t mean we forget what happened or that it didn’t matter; it means we choose to move forward with a happy heart.

Why is it important?

“For young children, being able to forgive helps build strong friendships and maintain a positive outlook on life. It teaches them to be empathetic and to understand that everyone makes mistakes,” explains Eyre. “Practising forgiveness in our diverse South African communities can foster unity and harmony.”

Teaching forgiveness

“You can show your children how to forgive by practising it yourself. If you make a mistake, apologise and explain that everyone can be forgiven. Reading stories that highlight forgiving can also be very impactful. Tales from our rich South African heritage, such as those telling of Nelson Mandela’s forgiveness, can help children understand the power of forgiving.

“During playtime, encourage your child to share and resolve conflicts amicably. If there’s a disagreement, guide them through the process of forgiving. Praise them when they forgive someone, saying things such as, ‘I’m so proud of you for forgiving your friend. That was very kind’.

“A simple activity to encourage forgiveness is creating a Forgiveness Jar. Have a special jar where your child can place a note whenever they forgive someone. At the end of the week, read the notes together and celebrate their kind heart,” suggests Eyre.

“Role-playing can also be very effective. Use dolls or stuffed animals to act out situations where forgiving is needed. This makes the concept more relatable and understandable for young minds,” she adds.

“Art and crafts can be another way to help your child express their feelings. Encourage them to draw or paint their emotions. Discuss their artwork and gently guide them towards understanding and expressing forgiveness,” Eyre advises.

Read our five tips to encourage kindness in children.

Cultural connections

“In South Africa, we have a concept called ‘ubuntu’, which means ‘I am because we are’. This philosophy emphasises our interconnectedness and the importance of community.

“Teaching forgiveness aligns perfectly with ubuntu, helping children understand that forgiving others strengthens our bonds and builds a better society,” says Eyre. “It is like planting a seed that will grow into a strong, compassionate tree. As parents, we have the wonderful opportunity to nurture this value in our children, helping them to become loving and understanding individuals. Let’s embrace the spirit of ubuntu and make forgiving a fundamental part of our children’s lives.

“By nurturing forgiveness in our children, we create a child with a heart for the world. Together, we can make the world better, filled with kindness and understanding, one small heart at a time,” she concludes.