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No Holds Barred
We tell you what the experts really think
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As parents, we rely on various professionals to look after and educate our children. But these people also have to put up with our irritating demands and quirks. What would they tell us, if they could speak to us honestly?
The preschool teacher
What annoys you?
I hate Mondays because the children have been spoilt rotten all weekend with their parents and now they have to come back to school and be disciplined (by us).
What is the worst thing us parents, do?
The worst thing that happens daily, and that clearly upsets the children (and annoys us), is parents who insist on coming into the classroom, supposedly to try to settle their child. It doesn’t work, it makes things worse and the separation is ultimately more traumatic for the child and disruptive for the others.
Not believing the teacher
Most parents think their children are perfect, or they are in denial. We may say, “We feel there may be an issue with Johnny’s social skills because he keeps hitting and biting other children”. The parent replies, “Nonsense, there’s nothing wrong with Johnny, it must be the other children”. As professionals, we just want to get the child the support they need as that helps everyone concerned. But parents often won’t accept what the education professionals are trying to tell them.
Always wanting to bend the rules
We have school rules so that a) the school doesn’t fall apart and b) the children develop some sort of moral code. Parents want special treatment for their child even if it means breaking the rules. They say it won’t matter if Johnny is late, comes to school with flu, wears the wrong clothes, has sweets in his lunchbox or brings very expensive toys to school. “Just this once” is their pet phrase. It does matter.
The children’s entertainer
Pushy parents
When we are face painting, there is always one parent who pushes her child to the front of the queue and blatantly demands her child be done first. This upsets everybody and is so unnecessary. Everybody gets a turn and children queue nicely. If you’re late, get to the back.
Taking over
I hate it when the birthday child’s parents insist on changing the rules of the games or the order of things. We do things in a set order that works for us, and the children. There is often great method in our perceived madness.
Parents should be seen and not heard
The worst thing is when I have the children quiet and paying attention to a story, and the parents start laughing, joking or talking on their cellphones really loudly in the next room. This happens all the time. Then there are parents who bring (noisy) babies to a child’s party.
Sports coach
Not everybody can be captain
Unfortunately there are only so many positions on a team and most sports have specialised positions. So while we try to accommodate everyone, it really is impossible. Dads and rugby teams are the worst. I’ve almost had a fist fight because one son wasn’t the standoff half and the kicker. Not everybody can be captain, yet dads will argue for hours and follow up with phone calls about why their son should be playing in this or that position.
Don’t be late
So many children are late for practice or for the team bus on match day. If somebody is consistently late then I’m sorry – no excuses – they don’t play.
The dentist
There isn’t a person alive who enjoys a trip to the dentist. However, modern dentists do make an effort to help children feel comfortable. Give them a break.
If only their parents wouldn’t interfere
The biggest mistake parents make is to pass on their own fear of the dentist. Phrases such as, “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt that much” and “If you survive this we can go to a movie”, create anxiety where there probably was none. Dentists can be fun people and can teach the children about their teeth in an engaging way.
Sitting in with the child and directing proceedings
The worst thing is when the mother is in the room and she keeps leaping up out of her seat at the slightest murmur or grimace from her loved one. Dentistry is quite a complex procedure, with drills and sharp tools operating inside small sensitive mouths. We don’t need parents spooking us halfway through a root canal. My dental nurse once got such a fright that she almost leapt out of the window.
Preparing your child
Don’t lie and tell them they “won’t feel a thing” or they “won’t have to have an injection”, because that puts pressure on me.
The doctor
Today’s parents are all annoying, internet health experts
Parents often bring in their child with certain symptoms but before I can ask any pertinent questions, they offer up a dozen amateur diagnoses gleaned from the internet. If I suggest something different, they sit there and start arguing with me. I feel like saying, “With respect Mr Smith, you are a plumber, if you want to be a doctor, go and do seven years at medical school!”
How sick is sick?
It’s annoying when a parent calls me at 6:45pm (when I have just sat down for dinner) simply because she has to bring her (it’s usually a mother, I’m afraid) snotty-nosed daughter to the clinic. You would think the child is almost dying, but the child then arrives in her hockey gear after being to practice all afternoon. If your child is well enough to play sport, don’t waste my time. Parents generally overreact to the slightest sniffle.
Desperate for medication
Nine times out of 10, the child doesn’t need anything apart from rest, love and careful monitoring. Yet the parents aren’t happy unless you give them a prescription for a raft of tablets and potions. They literally won’t leave my surgery until they have a script in their hand.
The babysitter or carer
If you don’t need a babysitter, don’t hire one
I hate it when the mother hangs about and starts dictating what I do. We have our own methods that are often very different from the parents’. That’s usually why the child likes being with us. If the parent stays and interrupts everything we do, she kills the special relationship and bond between the child and myself.
Don’t say “help yourself to anything in the fridge” if you don’t mean it
I made myself a cheese and tomato sarmie once and the father went insane. Yet on the way out, he had said I could help myself to something to eat.
Being treated as a general slave and dogsbody
My absolute worst is when you’re hired to look after the baby or toddler, but you have to wash up and sweep the outside deck. One woman wanted me to help paint the baby’s room. I’m a babysitter, not an odd-job man.
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