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Be a Sport
Sport is about more than just winning
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Sport is a vital part of our lives. We get behind our national teams, although we whinge when they lose, and if you have children at school, even if you are the least sport-loving person in the world, you are at some stage going to find yourself watching a game you may not even understand. But if approached properly, playing sport can be a way for your child to shine on the field while getting some exercise, and an opportunity for you to meet other parents.
The policy at most schools is that your child needs to take part in at least one summer and one winter sport (and, no, playing computer games is not one of them).
I am not the sporty type but the late father of my children was. He was involved in organised cricket and loved anything that included a ball. So when we had a son, it seemed as though he too would play cricket. But Alex, now 16, did not inherit his father’s skill. In fact, he sucked. And it was while watching a game where my son had just gone out for a golden duck, that I learned one of the first lessons of watching sport: do not assume that the rest of the parents are as peeved about watching their darlings playing in the F team.
“Crikey”, I said to a father as I watched my son picking his nose on the outfield, “this is worse than watching paint dry.” He gave me a hard stare, moved several steps away from me and said, “You should be proud of him for representing his school.” I slunk off to drink lukewarm tea.
Play the field
So, after spending a lot of money on cricket gear, he gave it up, and here is a handy tip: don’t lay out a month’s worth of grocery money on pricey sports gear until you are sure your child is going to love the sport. Go to a second-hand sports shop or visit your school clothing exchange if they have one and you will find plenty of gear in decent shape that other parents have sold because their child took up a sport and hated it.
In fact, Jeanne Forcioli, who heads sport at Rustenburg Girls’ Junior School in Cape Town and holds degrees in sports science and education, says, “I would not suggest sport specialisation at a very young age. It’s important that children are exposed to a variety of sports that challenge them and develop various gross and perceptual motor skills. Saying that, I would not overload their schedules; balance is the key. If you notice your child has special ability or has been identified as talented in a certain field, keep the training hours under check and make sure they still have a chance to be a child and have fun.”
Changing interests
My daughters Hannah, 14, and Grace, 13, were not sports fans at junior school. Hannah enjoyed being in the swimming team and played social netball. Grace plays social netball, but wishes she had taken up cross-country running. Note that children’s sporting skills and interests may change when they go to high school. While they may have been captain of the under-12 netball team in junior school, they will be up against new talent at high school. This can work in their favour or against them, but either way, you do need to chat to them about it.
Professional coaching
Be aware that there may come a stage when your child decides they want to move up the sporting ladder. That is when it’s a good time to consider professional coaching if they need it. Divvie Maritz, the first team coach at Rondebosch Boys’ High School in Cape Town and a trainer of children from primary to senior level says, “Your child should decide for themselves if they really want to achieve. Sometimes confidence is low, but that happens to everyone in sport, so support from parents is always good. Intervention or being hard on your child because they have failed to live up to your expectations is never the best way to approach the problem, and ends up with the child feeling as if they’ve failed. To achieve in sport involves hard work and determination and that must come from the sports person themselves.”
Get insured
Have good medical cover, because although Maritz points out that fitness plays a part in preventing injuries, they do happen and they can be expensive. Many schools offer top-up medical insurance for sport at very reasonable rates.
Game rules – for you
You can be a cheering, vocal parent, and I am, but there are boundaries. Ask your child from the outset whether they want you to be a vocal parent or not. Hannah informed me that I could only watch her matches if I kept my mouth firmly shut. Maritz says, “Manners around the field are very important as you set the example for your children. Never swear or bad-mouth the referee or coach. But the coach should always be available for discussion or to offer help for your child.” Although coaches should be accountable and approachable, there are some no-go areas as far as I am concerned. They know the group of children, or the pool of talent they have to work with. Don’t go to them and demand that your child be moved up to a higher team. I have seen it happen and invariably the child is ridiculed by team-mates. Remember, at the end of the day, sport might be important, but winning is not always the most important thing. Being a good sport, learning how to work with a team and learning how to deal with frustration and defeat are all good
life lessons.
life lessons.
There is also an etiquette that exists around the field for parents. Try not to embarrass your child by shouting out their name when you think they have done something stupid. Be polite to the parents of visiting teams, clap when the visitors score, even if you can only manage a lukewarm flap, and cheer like crazy when your team does something amazing.
And after the game?
There are golden rules for being a good, sport-supporting parent. I don’t get them right all the time, and your children may all require different responses from you. I have learnt that my son does not want me to talk to him when he comes off the field after a game. He wants to be handed money for a burger and a drink, and be left to decompress with his friends. Wait to hear how your child feels about their performance before you tell them what you think. Forciolli has the following advice: “Being honest with your child is always the best. They will learn to trust you and your opinion. If you are honest about the small stuff, they will trust your judgement when it really counts and come to you for advice on the big things. Children know when they haven’t played or performed to their best. Be open and talk frankly, but sensitively, about how they are feeling.” The advice from the coaches is pretty clear. It isn’t as important as you might think that your child plays in the first team. The important thing is that they are playing sport and they can be proud of playing at whatever that level is. Most of all, know this, you will never ever watch a game as closely or with as much passion as you will when your child is on the field doing their best, getting exercise and learning how to be part of a team.
What if your child doesn’t want to play sport?
Jeanne Forciolli, head of sport at Rustenburg Girls’ Junior School in Cape Town, has the following advice:
- Sport should not only be seen in the formal context of organised, competitive sport. Get your child a bike, skateboard, rollerblades or a skipping rope. Put up a pull-up bar in the passage, get a Pilates ball for them to balance on, let them climb trees and get a trampoline for the garden or take them swimming or boogie boarding at the beach. Even walking the dog is good exercise.
- Exercise can be a family affair. If you’ve ever taken your children to the supertube you’ll know what a good workout climbing the stairs and going down the slides can be. You can also take cricket bats to the beach or park. Put up a mini soccer net or get a croquet or boulles set.
- Make sure your children are properly equipped. They are not going to enjoy the family hike if they are wearing the wrong shoes.
- Make sure children are hydrated and not hungry or tired. Energy drinks or bars are not needed; a piece of fruit and a bottle of water are sufficient.
- The Department of Education has finally recognised the importance of physical exercise and has reintroduced compulsory physical education in schools. From this year, these hours have been lengthened with Grade R to Grade 3 learners now needing to do two hours a week.
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